Akira's List
by Sypher
Summary: The Phantom Thieves created a list outlining what they thought was appropriate and inappropriate behavior for their quirky leader


AN: I do not own the Persona Series or characters. Also spoilers ahead.

 **Akira's List**

In April of 2017, a young man named Akira Kurusu was sent to live in the big city for one year. During this time, he and his friends would be drawn into a plot involving murder, betrayal and justice as the group known as The Phantom Thieves.

However, through the course of their adventure, The Phantom Thieves learned of their leaders odd and mischievous antics. They compiled a list of what they felt was appropriate or inappropriate behavior and gave it too him at the end of the year so he could learn to better himself.

This is what it said:

 **Things The Phantom Thieves do and do not approve of from their leader**

1\. Even though you have magic powers, messy hair and glasses, that does not make you Harry Potter

2\. We don't care what the internet says

3\. That also does not make Akechi Draco or Shido Lord Voldemort

4\. Morgana is not a girl, despite having a girls name

5\. No we don't want you to check

6\. Yusuke does not sound like McCree, we don't even know who that is.

7\. Mokoto's persona is Johanna, not Ghostrider the Spirit of Vengeance

8\. It is also not a transformer

9\. Despite having reddish hair Haru is not "Japanese Wendy's"

10\. Morgana is not Snarf and you are not the leader of the Thundercats

11\. You're code name is Joker, you are not _the_ Joker

12\. Ann is also not Harley Quinn

13\. Yusuke prefers the term eccentric, not "pretentious douchebag"

14\. We don't know why you complain about Yu Narukami, we don't know who the hell he is.

15\. Yoshida is not trying to "make Japan great again"

16\. Mishima is not a bitch…I mean…if that's okay with you

17\. Even if Iwai can get us real guns we don't need them, we don't care what Ryuji says

18\. Caroline is not in the beginning stages of her Tsun Tsun arc… **YOU GOT THAT INMATE!**

19\. "Because I can" is not an excuse to romance every woman you see

20\. Encouraging Ann and Shiho to bond does not include "making out" on the roof

21\. Nothing about having Kawakami coming over to give you a massage is normal so don't even try

22\. What happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii

23\. Haru is "planting her cucumbers" means exactly what it means

24\. Please stop wearing that "Kamoshida did nothing wrong" tee shirt, it's in poor taste

25\. We went to Destinyland not Disneyland, do you want to get sued?

26\. Shadow Shido is not Senator Armstrong and you are not Raiden

27\. We can't "nuke the shit" out of Mementos, where would we even acquire a nuclear weapon?

28\. Advising Yusuke to grow an afro and paint happy trees is not helping him grow as an artist

29\. Having Ann model underwear for you will not help her career or give her courage

30\. Stop playing the claw game, you don't need another Jack Frost doll

31\. We don't care if it calls you a ho if you squeeze its hand

32\. Akechi is a dick, while true that doesn't mean you have to spray paint it all over Shibuya

33\. Sae Nijima is a special prosecutor, she is not Judge Judy

34\. Because I'm hopped up on drugs is not an excuse for your behavior anymore, its been a month

35\. Even though we are going after the owner of Big Bang Burger that does not make you the Hamburglar

36\. Mifune is "The Maiden" she is not Ms. Cleo

37\. You are assisting Tae Tameki in a clinical trial, you are not here for your "private physical"

38\. Ohya is not Japanese Lois Lane

39\. She is also not April O' Neil, Gale Weathers or the female Ron Burgundy…although she does love scotch

40\. The Kings name is Shinya Oda not Ash Ketchum

41\. Stop staring at that one spot in Mementos your freaking us out

42\. The Phrase "it is better to beg forgiveness than ask permission" no longer applies to Akira Kurusu

43\. Ryuji's persona is not Jack Sparrow

44\. Stop saying "in accordance to the prophecy" after everything, is that even still a thing?

45\. Futaba can not plug you into the Matrix…yet…so stop asking

46\. Once again, Togo-san has asked us to remind you that throwing the shogi board across the room is not a valid strategy

47\. Neither is lighting it on fire claiming to be Daenerys Targaryen

48\. Yes there is a Persona named Thor, there is not a persona named Iron Man

49\. Or Captain America, Spider-man, Groot…you know what just anything from the MCU in general

50\. Inari needs to stop being such a weirdo

51\. This list is for Akira to better himself, why would you possibly need to mention me for?

52\. Stupid Inari

53\. My sister does not need to know all the details of what we do in your room

54\. That's not what she meant when she said she wanted to know everything that happened during the year

55\. Sojiro used to work for the government, he was not the inspiration for Daisuke Jigen

56\. Or Dr. Venture

57\. You should probably just go to bed when I say to, it'll just be better for both of us

58\. Are you going to bed already?

59\. Stop showing us Phantom Thieves memes they aren't funny anymore

60\. Please stop arguing with people on the Phan-site about who is the best waifu, this kind of senseless violence needs to end. Besides we all know who's the best one anyway.

61\. Do not sell the story of our exploits to be used to make, manga, anime, a fighting game spin off, a chibi rpg dungeon crawler or some dance game

After reading the list, Akira called up Atlus to pitch a great idea for a multimedia tour de force. The first step, creating a manga series so he could have a name.

 **The idea is taken and inspired by Bournmouthdread's version of the list kind of stories. Some variations of some lines appear in his versions and are homage to his story.**


End file.
